The Story of a Small YouTuber | A Study of Change

YouTube, one of the largest American video-sharing platforms ever. Who really doesn’t know YouTube? Everyone watching YouTube either you don’t really know about content creators or you just looking for references. Either you want to find an experience, doctrine, politics, news, etc. or just spend some free time. YouTube has become one of the biggest platforms have ever existed besides having a lot of controversy and drama. When many people say YouTube is more than television, maybe you should say it right in front of the platform’s CEO, Susan Wojcicki. But, we don’t talk about her a lot. However, I wrote this as a form of experience and traces of the past before writing various film reviews. And he was Crack as his. He doesn’t really know how he got the name.

Part I: Inspiration

Crack was a teen who accustomed to his own world. However, he didn’t feel alone. Video games and anime were his everyday stuff. There is nothing else but a hobby and a part of himself. However, he wasn’t like a nerd or geek in general because. In fact, he has many friends. Unlike anti-social kid, Crack is an introvert who doesn’t talk too much but isn’t too smart. English is his favorite subject. When you talk about English then you don’t know anything. He is the boss in his classroom because no one can fight him when you argue using English. But, he was stupid in mathematics despite drawing is his another hobby and architect as his dream.

Crack was just a video game and anime addict even though he doesn’t know what he was really doing. The final school exam was just a month away. It’s time to go to college, but there’s nothing he thinks about besides playing video games and watching anime. Behind the dark room, he tried to open YouTube for no other reason than just to spend time. At first, he was only fiddling with the platform even he didn’t know what to watch.

Sure, Crack was so obsessed with this guy.

However, a recommendation came from YouTube thanks to its algorithm. None other than, he was Felix Arvid Ulf Kjellberg or better known online as PewDiePie. This Swedish guy plays a horror game called “DreadOut”, one of the most phenomenal Indonesian horror games. Since then, he didn’t know what he had watched. It’s just an annoying guy, screaming at anything but the funny thing is that he plays Indonesian games. A match made in heaven he found.

Then, what really makes this PewDiePie really matter? So, Crack knows that he was one of the most famous Let’s Play commentaries. Crack read Wikipedia and various articles about this one of the most influential people. At the very least, PewDiePie made a lot of millions of dollars from his work just playing video games all day long. It’s like there was no more work he did. Very excited, very impressed but shocked to the point of feeling like he wanted to die seeing him. So, Crack then thought: “instead of wasting my time in college, why don’t I try to be a YouTuber?” He thought it was an easy way. It was the only way to lead him into the future and success. Because, who doesn’t want to have a paid hobby? Everyone needs it!

Part II: The beginning

Crack doesn’t always focus on studying. In fact, he seemed to not care anymore about his education. It’s better to spend time playing online games with friends than taking courses in preparation for the final exam. Instead of spending a lot of time outside, better to think about how to find content and so on. He tried to collect as much money as possible from opening typing services and finally bought his starter pack. Although ridiculous, Crack was finally able to buy a gaming mouse, a headphone, and a microphone. And here, he began.

But, here is the thing. He thought what it would be like to talk alone in a room without feeling awkward and embarrassed. What if it heard by people in the room? What if he disturbs others? This kid’s mind filled with various kinds of problems. He once tried it himself but not using Indonesian but English. In fact, he can’t either. How was it possible if what only taught in schools just memorizing vocabularies or translate sentences? There is no grammar. The school only teaches them tenses and how to translates. What a lame-o.

Crack thought that he has friends who were fond of video games and of course anime. He invited him to come to his house playing video games together. Then, they speak but only used Indonesian. Crack finally felt comfortable doing this without feeling awkward and embarrassed when talking to himself. They both play video games and do commentaries usually in most NBA games. Crack sees the videos, edits it, and uploads it. He will wait even though his internet speed at his home was very slow. In addition, he tried to find a variety of inspirations from them to act ridiculous when playing games and making a game fails like GameSprout.

Part III: The act

Crack has so many miserable little piles of secrets

He was happy and feels proud. However, those feelings suddenly disappear when no one was watching his video. Then, he fell into a feeling he had never felt but there was still a happy feeling. Day after day, he didn’t pay much attention to his future or the university and what direction he wanted to step. Because he was very stupid of mathematics and other calculating lessons, he was advised to choose English literature. Even so, he wanted to be in architecture and information technology because he loved drawing and was very fond of computers.

After finally graduating from high school, Crack didn’t have another way. Besides being forced to follow his parents, Crack began to study but the time he spent most often in video games and making a lot of content. When one of his classmates asked him: “What will you do next?” He then replied: “If I can’t pass the entrance examination, I’ll be a YouTuber like PewDiePie.” Just enough already, this innocent kid was very obsessed with this YouTuber. For some reason, one of the things he wants to achieve was having a YouTube channel that has much income.

Studying, playing video games, playing video games, watching anime, playing video games, and studying. We will never know what the fate of this young man would be. In fact, he often skipped classes and went to play online games with his friends. The fact that this kid was still running away from the reality of wanting to make another way so he doesn’t have to spend time on college. However, was this a miracle, he finally graduated and became a student of English literature. Still, in addition to him starting to manage his campus archives, he still keeps making content but not often when she was still in school. His dream then disappeared little by little so he began to forget it. Crack then never opens and sees the development of his YouTube channel.

Crack has at least four or five friends while they are managing together their documents. And all of them are weeaboo and gamers who love video games and anime. Two of them are Crack’s online video games friends even though they don’t often do it. Maybe because it’s time to go to college, a period of maturity, a time when there will be more activity than watching anime and playing video games. But, one of the biggest secrets of Crack was he never tells his YouTube channel except one of his best friends who often play NBA games.

When he told his YouTube channel to his two weeaboo friends, they were very amazed at how they saw the development of the channel. Crack was then embarrassed, blushed, yet happy to see their expressions. And the good news was Crack connecting the YouTube channel to Google Adsense. Three of them talked about what if Crack had a YouTube channel that had gained a lot of profits. They fantasize what if they walk to Japan (all weeaboos dream), buy action figures, buy high-end PCs, and so on. When young people generally dream about mansions, women, status, and luxury cars, these young men only think of their hobbies. You know what? Because happiness was just a simple thing.

Part IV: Requiem

Sure, it’s old but this is the shit.

“Make lots of content again,” they both said. “Imagine if you have made a lot of profits from your YouTube channel,” he continued. With such a shame, Crack was happy. At first, he felt sorry for how he didn’t care about his channel anymore. He no longer cared about going where it was like. Life was meaningless. However, hope arises inside Crack and tries again to make lots of content. He finally created an ideology and a new way of quantity over quality. The more content whether no one is watching there will definitely be AdSense. Crack makes AMV, makes Nightcore, games fails compilation, gameplay, Let’s Play, and so on. In fact, the first life in his college days he was labeled as an anti-social kid.

When his college friends look for experience, especially those who have just seen a metropolitan city, he was always busy with his “work”. Crack was also not a lazy kid because he always completes his assignments as soon as possible and then continues to create more contents. In fact, he has a schedule where he has to stay up without sleep until morning to make content. Sure, this kid has a lot of balls to did that. His classmates, though not too familiar, were very worried about this kid. How he walked to the door of the room he was late and his eyes were like a depressed man. One of his friends said that he was like a zombie or were crying. However, Crack only assumed that they knew nothing.

I mean, it’s really not that bad when you talk about Nightcore, Pyro-sama.

Day after day, there are no more things besides he always watches his Google Adsense. Before going to bed, he even thought of his YouTube channel. Insomnia struck him, his body became weaker, but his parents seemed to not notice this kid. He wasn’t a weak kid but was also a kid who always sick. He has a record in his childhood that he always sick and it brought to his adulthood. Remember those two weeaboo friends? Two of them always question how about the development of his channel. However, Adsense doesn’t increase.

One month, he only made a profit of at least $1.5. “This is not the time to wait, I have to make a lot of content again,” he said. Crack more days like zombies, rarely exercise, not even increase again. He was a kid who cares for his health, often sports, and maintains his body. He often plays basketball as well. However, it was different from the school period. Besides being busy with college assignments, he must also be preoccupied with other activities. As if, his world was getting narrower even almost clamping his whole body. His room seemed to sink him into the dimension of darkness.

Part V: Anxiety

Crack feels hopeless in himself, falling back into times where he no longer wants to pay attention to his channel. He finally focused on his studies. As well as being very fond of watching anime and playing video games, Crack found that it didn’t really matter anymore. He began to think it was time to grow up. It’s time to think about the future, it’s time to think carefully, it’s time to think about how to make parents happy. From here, he found a new hobby: reading.

Yes, read. Who likes reading? No one. But strangely, Crack likes this new hobby. He read many classic literary works and looked for more references from films. At last, he found a new hobby that’s watching classic movies. You know, watching the adaptation of classic literature like all Shakespearean, “To Kill a Mocking Bird”, “The Godfather” trilogy, the black and white movies, and others. He was happy even he was happier than when he watched anime and played video games. Whether he found it useless or wasted time, he was happy. It’s possible, for Crack, this is just his escape from reality.

Solely, Crack was no longer concerned with his YouTube channel. He plunged deeply with his new hobby. He searched for many literary works, especially classic literature, and classic films as well. For a moment, he realized this was better than wasting time waiting for what you wanted to achieve. Therefore, he got an idea of ​​how he wrote various reviews about the films he had watched and the literature he had read. But what about his YouTube channel? Does he not care anymore? Well, in the night, Crack did nothing. At the time, all he saw was the contents he had made and recalled the memories of the time he was still taking care of this. But, the fact he also never saw comments from people watching his videos was something he never talked about. At first, he was happy if someone cared about his content. However, he was wrong.

What he had done made him have to bear various kinds of negative comments. Of all which, he can’t stand even wanting to explode. Want to reply but fear even though a small portion was a positive comment too. His YouTube channel filled with negative comments. He didn’t know what he did was wrong or why did he have to hear their words? Unfortunately, it’s very complex because Crack doesn’t make decent or interesting content. Because he didn’t know what to do, he immediately pressed the self-destruct button. He deletes his YouTube channel. For years he had created, he had developed, but until just here, Crack deleted it without regret. End of story, he never heard it again and started his real life rather than surfing on the internet.

After Story

When one person says he wants to be a YouTuber, he doesn’t know what he really said. There is so much consequence he must bear. Being a YouTuber isn’t a difficult job but it’s also not an easy job. It needs time to do that especially if you want to make a lot of profit. Because all that requires a lot of time depends on how the mindset of the individual planning it. It’s also not everyone can’t be YouTuber because everyone can.

The irony is that they are the only people who care about their own ego. Especially in this millennial age where social media is our daily food, YouTube is filled with a lot of sensations, drama, and controversy whether it’s passive or active. When all the other kids now prefer to aspire to be YouTuber or internet sensations, then he doesn’t know yet. He just didn’t know but he just wanted to prove things like that could be achieved.

Salman Al Farisi

An Indonesian who loves to watch and read everything. A literary student who likes to write about reviews and essays on Crackdown Review. But, I just wannabe critics who love arthouse than anything.

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