Nine Lives (2016) – You’ve Never Seen Spacey Before

And like that, Kevin Spacey became a cat for his daughter’s birthday present. I don’t even believe why I say that. More importantly, what exactly is this film? Who is this film for? Is this film trying to reach the Razzie awards or intended for those of you who love cats? What and why? Why is this movie so matter? Just enough for all my complaints. I don’t even know why I’m watching this. I don’t believe Kevin Spacey and Christopher Walken, two Oscar-worthy actors, want to cast in this film. Who spends the full hour for more? But for me? I don’t even know why a middle-aged lady acts like a four-year-old girl and vice versa.

The story is supposed to be a family comedy in the 90s. You still remember it, right? Too many films such as “Air Bud”, “Baby Geniuses”, or films about a dog acts like a human. One odd thing after I realized at this age is why I watched it first and why did I like it? Even childhood is full of lies and deception of humanity. I’ve never, at all, expected this film to be like films like those. And I don’t care, Barry Sonnenfeld once worked on “Men in Black”, “Wild Wild West” or “Addams Family” franchise. And one more thing: why aren’t there many films about cats? I’m not American, but are cats not really attractive at all? Like, come on. Everybody love cats besides dogs. But, it doesn’t mean this film is good as well.

Cliches are not a bad thing but this film modifies its term worse and ruins it. This is not 80s where we deal with like a “Big” movie or any body-switching story. In fact, for some reason, I don’t believe Kevin Spacey really wants to be in this film or even he just doesn’t want to. Is he threatened or what? Or what if he has another reason? Come think of it, if he becomes a cat and everyone likes cats then everyone will touch the cat. Even children really like cats. Is there anything strange? Actually, not really. Anyway, he acted like a capitalist bad guy who was more concerned with his company’s project than his daughter’s birthday.

Spacey’s character seems to be a scumbag besides being a guy who convinced the world or the guy who designed the seven deadly sins. Who is he really? He is more of capitalism who hates everyone, is very selfish and a quite manipulative, obsessed with his job, and has a wave of anger. Spacey as Tom Brand finally bought a cat for his daughter’s birthday present. Guess who is the cat shopkeeper? Correct, it’s Christopher Walken as the cat philosopher. From here, his body exchanged with cats as a result of being struck by thunder. That’s Spacey is more narrated using voiceover instead of putting his acting through a screen. And it didn’t really go smoothly.

I hope this would be something that can be watched by children or families. Unfortunately, this is 2016 but it’s not really the problem. I don’t understand whether cats are obedient animals. For me, they are cute but they are lazy. So, I see behind the scene of this movie and how the cats used in this film are mostly in their own shots. The rest, they use CG creation for the cats to be more active. We talk a lot about Spacey and Walken. Now, onto the next actors. Jennifer Garner as Lara Brand is just… I don’t know. It still doesn’t expect much even I don’t want to comment much. My mind hurts with that poop jokes because this is a PG-rated movie which is a fine movie. Yeah, a fine movie for cat gets drunk.

It’s not really much to say with this masterpiece of a pussy movie. Pussy movie? What a bad day. I know, body-switching is a unique concept if the execution was perfect. “Big” is a good body-switching movie. Or even though its genre is different, “Mulholland Drive” is also pretty good. It’s very strange to compare this film with David Lynch’s piece. Very silly.

One question, who is this movie for? Is it for cat lovers which is me as? Nope. Is this film trying to understand that the cat is immortal because they have nine lives? Nope. Did Christopher Walken prefer to look ordinary instead of the man who played Russian roulette? Nope. So, what was this? I mean, this is not the worst of all because I’ve seen much worse than this. Just a bad movie which you care so much when you watch this as a kid but regret it when you remember it.

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